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Depression and Anger

Posted on February 7, 2016 at 9:06 AM Comments comments (5)
What do depression and anger have in common? Actually, it is almost impossible to have one without the other. Depression is often caused by negative thoughts that you have about others or yourself. You may feel no control over the way your life is going and instead of using your anger to push yourself forward finding solutions to your dilemma you make a conscious or unconscious decision to give up on trying to make your situation better. Thus you spiral into depressive thoughts and actions.

I'm not implying that it is possible to be  completely in charge of the events and happenings in our lives. "Acceptance" also plays a role in the mind game. Some things in life do need to be accepted that cannot be changed such as other people, traffic, taxes, and death (we all die sooner or later). But the majority of our choices are in our own hands.

If you have made a decision to move on with your life but are lacking the motivation, direction, or energy to do so on your own, it may be time to find someone who can be a sounding board and a cheerleader for you. 

I have been in such a place. Without the expertise and guidance from a counselor who could show me compassion and empathy, I would have remained stuck in my own self-made rut. Now I can offer you the same opportunity to climb out of the quagmire of doubt and confusion and discover what it feels like to be in charge of your own precious life.


Anger Management

Posted on January 22, 2016 at 10:00 AM Comments comments (2)
Anger can be a debilitating problem or just an indication that something needs to be addressed. If you have an anger issue what you do about it makes all the difference. Have you heard of the Serenity Prayer that is used in Alcoholics Anonymous and other such meetings? It goes like this: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to  know the difference."

Everyone has anger issues. Anger is a normal part of life. But when you go into a rage or become depressed, it is time to figure out another way of dealing with it.

Try these steps and see if using them makes a difference:

1. Pause before action. 
2. Before spewing your guts, take a deep breath and get in touch with your feelings. What is behind the anger? Are you really hurt by someone's actions? Do you feel that no one understands you? There are many feelings that come out as anger that get buried because it is easier to be angry than hurt or fearful. It is harder to admit these feelings.
3. Get in touch with your needs that are not being met. Figure out if your needs are legitimate and then work on stating your needs in a calm way by starting with "I need". 
4. If it is road rage then your acceptance is the only alternative. You can rage all you want to, but all it will do is make  you or the person next to you more miserable. Try focusing on a song on the radio or call someone, or just look outside for something calming to look at like a tree or a bird. 
5. Sometimes our anger and fears get the best of us and we become tightly wrapped up in a cocoon of despair and bitterness. This might be a time to find a mental health counselor or a therapist. These guys are trained to help you get unstuck. 
6. Anyone can use the Serenity Prayer. If you are not a Christian just restate it to your liking, but  there is some wisdom in the saying. There is no reason to stew in a porridge full of helpless rage. There is definitely a way out for you if you are courageous enough to make some changes in the way you deal with anger.





Women

Posted on January 14, 2016 at 2:40 PM Comments comments (8)
What is the difference between women's equality 40 year's ago and the present? Yes, we are able to pursue any career we desire. Yes, men are assuming more responsibility for childcare. Yes, most women aspire to some kind of career or occupation more than they look for a marriage partner. 

On the other hand, anorexia nervosa (an eating disorder that may cause death from starvation and malnutrition) is higher than ever. 8 million Americans, 90% of them are young women, have this disorder.

What is the cause of this psychological horror? What would make a young girl starve herself? If you are a woman you can probably guess correctly. 

The media constantly uses women to advertise their products from cars to Viagra using models who personify the "perfect" body type. Ads for every kind of make-up and plastic surgery abound in women's magazines. 

Who wouldn't want to be desirable? We are easy prey for anyone who wants to exploit our vulnerability. We want to be like those airbrushed models that we see on TV and in magazines. We spend $426 billion a year on beauty products. Women spend almost two years of their life applying make-up. 

It seems that the advertising industry has the upper hand. They have managed to make us pretty insecure about our looks and at the same time convince us to spend time and money on their products. 

What can women do to counteract this seedy manipulation by the beauty industry? First, be aware of it. Second, know it is false advertising because no one needs any of that stuff they are peddling. And third, if you know a girl, clue her in on all this and tell her she is much more than her looks. 



Hope

Posted on December 10, 2015 at 10:00 AM Comments comments (2)
Everyone needs hope these days. We all hope that isis is defeated and that we don't lose our freedom. We all hope that we can get a handle on global warming before our planet is destroyed. But what about the daily life we all experience? Are we consumed with world problems so much that we have no room for joy? 
Spontaneous feelings of pleasure and happiness seem to happen when we are feeling good about ourselves and our choices. That inner peace is priceless, but it can't be obtained by any other means than self-knowledge and self-acceptance. 
Do you have inner demons claiming that  you are lacking something, that you are less than you should be, that your needs aren't being met? Are you struggling with decisions that never get resolved? 

Maybe it is time to find an objective person with skills that can help you unlock this cycle of endless anxiety and stress. There is no reason to allow yourself to lose one precious day to worry and unhappiness.

Let me help you unwind that ball of tangled wire so that you can truly find contentment even in the midst of the troubling world in which we all live.

Depression

Posted on December 5, 2015 at 9:57 AM Comments comments (8)
What is depression? 

It is lethargy; a feeling of not OK. You have angry feelings towards others and yourself but you don't know where to go or what to do about these feelings. They linger around like a bad cold sapping your energy and drive. 

You might be in a place where there is no one who understands or cares what you are feeling. Maybe you don't know how to express your thoughts. They may be all jumbled up inside your head like a cobweb and you feel like the bug who is trapped.

Instead of resigning yourself to slogging through each day wondering if anything is worth doing, find an objective person to talk to who may be able to guide you back to a place of contentment and hope. 

Yes, life is not always pleasant and there seems to always be something to cope with or work out. But if you like yourself and the life you've created, circumstances aren't overwhelming and you have a feeling of joy about being alive and you have important goals to pursue.

I've been where you are. If I had never experienced the feeling of hopelessness, then how could  I possibly understand your predicament. It is a very lonely place to be. But I have spent countless hours discovering how to help others find hope. I have helped children and adults become unstuck. 

Give me a call today at 404-502-9824 and together we can recreate a life worth living.



Divorce

Posted on October 31, 2015 at 1:43 PM Comments comments (4)
Even if your divorce was amiable and equitable, you may still be dealing with the aftermath of disappointment, grief, and loneliness. You may feel at loose ends and wonder where to begin. 

Having a safe place to  sort out "your life" from "your life as a married woman" with someone who has been there, can be a way to jumpstart your new beginning. 

What tools do you need to begin your new adventure? Have you set some goals for your future? If so, are you working on them?

At times like these, you may not have the mental fortitude to accomplish what you set out to do. You may be bogged down in all sorts of negative emotions such as guilt, shame, fear, or insecurity. You may still be dealing with a lot of anger due to  past hurts . You may wonder if you will ever find another relationship. 

I've been where you are today. I have felt the emptiness, the fear, and the anger. But through counseling, much research, and learning through my mistakes, I conquered my fears and insecurities and started truly living.

I would love to be your mentor and guide in your new adventure. I offer you complete acceptance and a new sense of empowerment so that you, too, can learn how to be your own best friend.

Retirement

Posted on November 29, 2014 at 9:44 AM Comments comments (3)
What are you planning for your retirement? Are you excited  about your plans? If you are thinking that you can't wait to sleep as long as you want and do whatever you please, you might want to reconsider your options. 

There is nothing wrong with looking forward to freedom from the alarm, but that will quickly become quite boring if when you finally get up, you have nothing much to do but get a new tube of toothpaste. 

 Retirement can be  something really special if you find a new and exciting activity to pursue. Did you have an idea of something to do when you were younger that you stopped pursuing because you had to make a living? Do you have an activity that you never pursued but you always wanted to? This is the time to take it seriously and make it a priority. 

If you don't have something exciting to pursue your brain will begin to go to mush and your body will begin to deteriorate. You will be like an old car that has not been driven for a long time. 

There is a very popular book out called "What makes Olga Run?" It is about a 93-year-old runner who also does senior Olympics. She is 93! She didn't start running until she was in her 60s. She is a wonderful role model for retirees. 

This can be the most creative and fun time in your life if you find your passion.  Go for it!

The Importance of Women honoring themselves

Posted on October 21, 2014 at 8:32 AM Comments comments (1)
Women are often the nurturers, housekeepers, and cooks of their family. They also are often called to employment. This multitasking can wear out anyone. The outcome of this unending stress can be depression and anxiety and a loss of personal ambition. 

What might be the solution for this dilemma ? I believe that women have an obligation to themselves to keep their spirits alive by making sure they continue to find time for their own creative abilities and desires. 

This is not only good for their well-being but also for their children. Children need to see and experience their mothers as viable money makers with talent and clout in this world. Furthermore, other women can see and experience women who are confident and self-assured because they are living their dream.

Women often put everybody first which is commendable, but if they allow this to happen too much, they are in danger of giving up on themselves.
Even if their gifts and talents have to wait awhile to come to fruition because of obligations to the family, they must not be allowed to die. 



Insecurity

Posted on July 26, 2014 at 11:44 AM Comments comments (5)
When you have parents who are deeply unhappy with themselves, you don't get to see what it is like to be happy.

You don't get to learn what happy people do. You identify with your parents because they are your role models. You emulate them consciously and unconsciously.

 Sometimes your role models are so poor that you are not given enough positive regard that you need  for self-acceptance.

Are you doomed to continue the same miserable life ? Can you realize that you are not your parents?

We all must break away from our parents in order to become self-actualized. But some of us need a guide that can help us navigate our mental roadblocks. 

Most of us would agree that they would like to find someone who sees our potential as more important then our weaknesses. 

I, as a Life Coach, can offer you a positive image of yourself that is based on reality- not a pie in the sky image. But an image that is based on your strengths and desires to find true happiness.

How Important is it to find your passion ?

Posted on July 17, 2014 at 9:27 AM Comments comments (4)
It doesn't matter what other people think. It doesn't matter if you make money. It does matter that you take your own goals and dreams and find a way to make them real.
 
I believe we all have certain gifts that can be used to better ourselves and others. We can say to ourselves that one day we will have the time to pursue those goals and dreams and maybe that is true. Maybe we do have to wait until we don't have pressing bills to pay that depend on that steady paycheck from a job we tolerate. 

But there may be some little part of that dream that we can pursue even with our obligations. 

Why is it so important to pursue our passion? Because we are meant to use our abilities. If we don't we are continually frustrated and we could become depressed and cynical and our natural joy of living could evaporate. 

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