Life is a Journey of Discovery
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|Posted on May 1, 2018 at 8:24 AM||comments (5)|
There is a discrepancy in the way in which women are treated in society that seriously impacts their ability to find success and happiness. Merely because of their gender, they get a different set of expectations at birth than their male counterpart.
Why does this matter? It matters because the subtle ways in which women are often treated can have a terrible effect on how they see themselves and it influences every aspect of their lives.
The day before Woodrow Wilson’s inauguration in 1913, there was a women's march in Washington for voter rights.
It took seven more years before women got the right to vote.
That was over 100 years ago.
How far have women come since they finally got to vote?
We can now use a hyphenated name when we're married and when we divorce we can use any name we want - we have an identity! We still don't get paid as much as men. BUT regardless of how far we have come there continues to be a pervasive attitude of bias against women right under the surface. The New York Times had a poll by Perry Undem, a non-partisan research and polling firm. The poll found eighty-two percent of women said that sexism (bias based on sex) was a problem in our society today. And it is no surprise to me that most men and women underestimate the sexism and misogyny (contempt for women) that is commonly felt by most women.
Negative stereotypes towards women shaped the decisions that were made for us throughout history, and those same stereotypes continue to influence current attitudes that men hold towards women and that women often hold towards themselves. Please read my book called "She Types: Identifying the Unconscious Stereotypes of women and howe to transform them" https://www.amazon.com/She-Types-Identifying-Unconscious-Stereotypes-ebook/dp/B07F7K36TX
|Posted on October 26, 2017 at 7:29 PM||comments (4)|
One of my clients that I used to see complained about being propositioned for sex when she went to a local bar for a drink.
Some people would say that she should not go to a bar because men would automatically think she wanted sex.
Think about that statement and analyze it. This is the natural way of thinking, but is it justified? Should women stay away from bars because men may accost them?
I totally disagree with that mentality. In my opinion a woman has every right to be respected wherever she may decide to go and a man shouldn’t automatically assume that she wants sex because she is sitting at a bar. It is this kind of attitude that is still pervasive in our society today.
It is subtle discrimination and women need to disavow such old-fashioned notions about what is “Proper “ for them to do and what is acceptable behavior for men.
|Posted on October 8, 2017 at 12:56 PM||comments (6)|
I think there has been an awakening lately from women who have had enough sexual harassment and outright sexual abuse from men in power. The latest target is Harvey Weinstein, the famous American film producer who is being investigated for such treatment of women over many years.
Ashley Judd, the movie star and political activist, was one of his victims. He asked her to a breakfast which she assumed was a business meeting. But he showed up to see her in his bathrobe and asked her to let him give her a massage or watch him shower. It seems he had a reputation for promising to boost women's careers for sexual favors.
Ever since Trump's sexual harassment towards women was revealed, women have been speaking out against this kind of treatment. It is no longer a mark of disgrace when a woman reveals that she has been sexually assaulted or tormented by unwanted advances.
This gives me hope that this kind of treatment will not always be ignored or tolerated even if the men who are perpetrating this sickening kind of behavior have money and power.
Women have often been taught to be the nurturers, the non-complainers, the giving and gentler of the sexes. They are often the caretakers of their children and other family members. Therefore, they can be easily exploited if they consider themselves inferior to the men in their lives and have fear of their own voices.
Once a woman finds her voice and is not afraid of men's negative reactions towards her, she also finds her own strength and newfound energy and power to stand up for herself and other women who have been treated with disrespect.
|Posted on October 4, 2017 at 9:15 AM||comments (121)|
In regards to women, unhealthy helping and giving can arise from behaviors and traits that are culturally approved and encouraged for women. Females are expected to put others first and to be nice and considerate. Traditional feminine roles such as wife, mother, daughter (and daughter-in-law), direct women to take care of other people, make other people’s lives easier by doing things for them, and to care for those that are dependent (providing what is called care labor). Caring for others, and accommodating others, in and outside of the home, is often designated as women’s work and selfless service to others is sold to many of us as a defining feature of the good woman. The bottom line: The way some women understand and identify with their gender and culture promotes unhealthy self-sacrifice and martyrdom for others. They go overboard when it comes to enacting cultural values that emphasize taking care of others. They have trouble telling the difference between excessive caretaking and normal nurturing. They aren’t emotionally or psychologically sick for following this cultural prescription, they’re just trying to be good women in societies where women are expected to subordinate their needs to others. Psychology Today (2017)
Burn, S.M. (2016). Unhealthy Helping: A Psychological Guide to Overcoming Codependence, Enabling, and Other Dysfunctional Giving. Amazon: Create Space.
Chang, S-H (2012). A cultural perspective on codependency and its treatment. Asia Pacific Journal of Counseling and Psychotherapy, 3, 50-60.
Cowan, G., & Warren, L.W. (1994). Codependency and gender-stereotyped traits. Sex Roles, 30, 631-645.
"This is an excellent article and worthy of serious thought." Carol Guthrie